Friendship

If there’s something that everyone has, or needs in their lives, it is having a real, true friend. By that I don’t mean having thousands of friends on social media platforms, but having the ones who really care about you, support you and stand by you forever. There are people who claim having millions of friends online, but what about real life? Whereas there are others who claim that they’re always alone, and have never been friended for a long period of time. All this is absolute nonsense, as almost everyone in this world will have friends, or at least one person who’ll stand by you always.

The literal meaning of friendship is having a good relation with a person. There is mutual trust between them, and they can share anything between themselves. If they build a strong bond, it’s really impossible for them or anyone to break it. And when you have a friend with these qualities, just add the tag of ‘best’ before it, and their value in our life increases thoroughly.

As a young boy, I often wondered if I’d have enough friends, who’d be my best friend, or would I even be able to make friends with others. It always was confusing for me to decide my best friend (s) because I never understood it’s definition. Before joining elementary school, I had a bunch of friends who I could claim with the tag of ‘best’ but immediately after pre-school ended, I absolutely lost touch with them. I can’t even recall the last time I must’ve have had a talk with anyone of those guys, and I don’t even know how I’ll be able to converse with them if we meet anytime soon.

I never really cared about my image or having friends before joining elementary school, because I didn’t know most people, whereas my old friends had joined other schools. For the first couple of days, I tried joining different groups of first-graders as most of them knew each other since pre-school. I do not deny the fact that I was nervous, and was going to find it tough, until I finally made friends with three kids who obviously knew each other for a long time. Let’s call them MR. M, Mr. P and Mr. A.

I proved my nonsense thinking of not having any friends wrong, and the four of us became really good friends as long as we were in the same class. There were temporary disputes, one of them being a huge one, but it was eventually solved. We were the dominant force in the class, and the whole grade. We excelled in studies, sports and other activities, making us much better friends. There was nothing that could stop us, but fifth grade had an upper hand over us. Four of us were shuffled into four different classes, and it has been the same ever since. That could be the only possible ending, and it was. At present, the four of us haven’t really been in touch that regular.

Things couldn’t have gone worse for me: I didn’t have a single friend with whom I was in regular touch, and I basically had to start from scratch. I didn’t have any need to make any more friends in the past four years, but it was my special task for 5th grade. After trying my best, I eventually made friends with a guy who I knew for 4 years, but to the utmost regret, I had never even spoken to him, making it too awkward for me. We’ll call him Mr. D. I made a lot of that year, something that helped going into next year. Yeah obviously, all friends I made in my class were shuffled so I needed to start from scratch, again.

There was one guy who I made friends with in 5th grade, but honestly, I hated him till 5th grade. Let’s give him a code name ‘Mr. DS’. There was a lot of competition, and one of the other reasons was that neither of us even spoke when we met (something we hardly did). I always gave him a mean look, and I couldn’t even help it. Maybe it was my default face for him (Hehe). When we conversed, we had so many things in common. We used to play squash together, we were good orators, reading similar books, similar interests like dogs, English, etcetera.

Mr. DS and my friendship had become really close, so jealousy arose between my other set of friends. They tried hard to tear our friendship apart, by making us against each other. They told us that each one of us were not fit for the other one, but this did not go in their favor, as we realized how stupid we were to listen to them as they were just jealous of us, thus making our bond even closer.

The start of lockdown in March 2020 created a new group of friends: Mr. DS, myself and Mr. AM. Though I knew Mr. AM since the start of 1st grade, I didn’t really converse with him for the first 6 years of school, but the lockdown helped us become good friends, and it has been the same since then. Because of Mr. DS, I became friends with Mr. AM, and we also started sharing interests together. We formed a text-groups, and had FaceTime calls with each other every day. We shared memes, played games and became too close in the last one year, all because of the lockdown. There is a lot of help between each other, temporary disputes, but there is too much fun. I always thought it was easy for me to make friends, but it took quite some time to get their approval.

The worst part in a friendship is being toxic. Being a toxic friend means depending for their own benefit. The ‘toxic’ friend always makes it about themselves and their own problem. They try to change their friend, do not respect them, they are jealous of other friends, and the friend can’t be comfortable being around them. I was also a toxic friend for some time, but when I realized my wrongdoings, I couldn’t believe how awful I had been. I made sure I never did it again, and it was so good to realize it at such a young age. I can easily make out who is a toxic friend to me, and who isn’t, as there are plenty of people out there who have the word ‘toxic’ attached to them.

We often tend to look into things that have a bigger impact in our lives, leading to forgetting things that have had a minor impact on our lives, and I’m no exception. While writing this article, I tried to keep focus on things that had a big impact on me, but what about the hundreds of small things I missed out on? He might not be in my school, he might not be the friend who helps with school work, but, Mr. R still there. Helping has been the backbone of a friendship, but helping each other with school stuff or something else isn’t the thing in my friendship with him. The biggest way we’ve helped each other is by staying there, with no personal benefits apart from having a good friend. It was a mutual effort, and it’s not effort from one party. There is literally 3-4% of personal benefit or less. A friendship is an emotion, and if you want to build one from the heart, you succeed. This small thing has had a big impact on my understanding of friendships.

When it comes to small things with bigger impact, I can’t afford to miss out on mentioning my family. One of the biggest ingredients in forming a healthy family is being friends with each other. Ages don’t matter at all. My dad, mom, grandfather, grandmother, uncle and aunt have all been good friends with me, teaching me something and just, talking. My relation with my cousins is weird, but special and cool. Let’s consider them as Ms. J and Mr. N as my sister and younger brother respectively. I don’t expect to have school friends at home every time, but it’s more like being friends with the both of them. Both Mr. N and I seem the same age and mischievous as ever when together. We thrive in each other’s company, and that’s all I want with an 8-year-old kid, and there’s no scope of getting bored at all. We literally cause havoc all over when on song! It’s different with Ms. J, as if we’re joking and playing, it’s fun, or otherwise it is nothing. The three of us have played so many games that don’t even make sense, but still had fun. All I can hope is that COVID ends, and everything becomes normal and we can enjoy ourselves, again.

It’s all about having fun with people, and they eventually become your friends: be it playing games all day with my cousins, having life talks with my grandpa and grand mom, amazing times with my aunt, jokes with my dad, doing things that don’t make sense and having super debates with my uncle, speaking to my mom or heated exchanges with my sister, everybody is a friend. There is a mutual understanding between all of us, and I couldn’t have been happier. Each instance is almost unforgettable, memorable and joyful.

It would be an utter disgrace and shame if I didn’t mention one of my best buddies ever, my dog Simba. He’s the most affectionate, caring and has absolutely unconditional love. He can never have enough of me, and most importantly he doesn’t get mad at all. If I ignore him or shout at him, he isn’t going to get mad at me. That’s why I love my doggo the most, and I even tried to give him a friendship band, ignoring the fact that he chewed it.

You can find a friend in your family, relative or even teacher. A friend can be your mentor too, like it’s been with my dad, grandfather, paternal uncle and other family members who’ve guided me through a lot of stuff, and I’ve got the right to call them my friends. Always have a true friend, rather than having a toxic one, and a friendship should last a lifetime. Find a friend and keep making more. Until next time, stay safe and healthy, wear a mask and sanitize yourself.

Adios.